Mom: I need a present for Archie next week
Ebza: Buy! Me, Buy Me!
Mom: The boy's a bit rough
Ebza: I’m made from a lump of wood, how strong can he be?
Mom: Something bright and colourful will grab his attention
Ebza: I’m striped, you can’t miss me, and where does it say babies prefer reds and blue’s, to black and whites
Mom: That snake looks good, it’s got numbers on it, it must be educational
Ebza: He’s a baby, he can’t read, let him learn the outline of a Zebra first!
Mom: He puts everything in his mouth; he might get splinters
Ebza: Sorry? I thought he was a baby not a beaver! I’d like to see him try to chew my leg off!
Mom: He’d be safer with a plastic rattle
Ebza: Oh yes, very natural product, apart from the toxins and estrogens. I suppose plastic spoons are safer for cooking too!
Mom: The wood can’t taste very nice
Ebza: Texture! Babies don’t put things in their mouths to eat them, they’re exploring the texture, wood, wool, cotton, it’s all got great texture. Plastic, yuk
Mom: None of this stuff comes in a box, how am I going to wrap it?
Ebza: You could save some money and the planet by not having a box.
Mum: It doesn’t say it comes from a managed forest
Ebza: I see you don’t mind plastic, you want a needless box, but you’re worried about the wood! I might not say, but you’ll have difficulty finding a wooden toy that doesn’t come from a managed source. Anyway it’s all relative, buy a plastic toy and you might as well have burnt 20 trees.
Mum: I’m off to toysRplastic; at least there the toys don’t talk back!
